In Toronto
I love big cities. I have always been a big city girl and always will be. As much as I love little old Waterloo, I need to take a vacation every once and while. Come to the big city, breathe in the livelihood, take in the energy...it's very invigorating.However, this weekend was not one I have planned to take a vacation from Waterloo. I came because my brother wanted to go to a Nickelback concert...whoever that is. So, being the older, responsible sister, I came with him. I gave all what he needs. I bought the ticket online, printed out, figured out how to go to Toronto, where to stay, the location of the concert, how he can go and come back and most importantly, gave him money. Yea, I know, I'm a dream sister. I cook his favorite dishes too ;) Except for fried stuff. I refuse to cook anything fried :S Sadly, that kind of eliminates 80% of what he eats! hehehe. In my house, you eat broccoli!
So, while I wait for my brother, I pretend to get some work done. Instead of work (come ON people, it IS friday!), I find myself pondering about some issues of my life. I was thinking about how my mother is always right.
For years, I yearned to jump off the 'nest' and fly. Now that I'm freakin flying all over the planet, there is nothing I want more that to go back to that cozy nest. I guess it's a more innate desire to settle down. I've had my share of experience of being 'on the road'. The last year in particular has been intense. All this responsibilities of breaking away from your parents suddenly shoved in my face. I am reminded of something I read a while ago:
Do you know what the ultimate sign that you have grown up? It is when you reach down the kitchen's sink and remove the gunk that is blocking the water from going down! LOL. It's true, isn't it? You grow up watching the adults do that kind of stuff and it never occurs to you that you will EVER do that icky crap. You can always call mom, dad, whoever. LOL. Then one day...one day...it creeps up to you...one day you reach out, full-force into that sink and fish out the potatoe peels. You suddenly stop. For those who know me, they know how I sound when I say: EEEEEWWWW.
LOL. I am sorry for those of you who think this is disgusting. But I meant it as a metaphor (It is generally a good idea NOT to peel stuff in the sink!). I am trying to communicate that kind of mindset where you suddenly realize...I am independent. Not the stupid, feminist, destiny's child-type of fake independence. But that quiet and very real acceptance that you really have said good-bye. Good-bye to being a confused, frustrated, intimidated young girl. That might sound as a good thing, but those things gave you excuses. Excuses to behave as haphazardly as you like. Excuses to have mood swings. Excuses to sway from being totally rude to sweet as candy. Not that I ever was really like that, but you know what I mean.
Wanting to go back to the nest does not mean I don't appreciate how much I grew up. On the contrary, I want to go back because I want to give back to my family. I want to contribute and help. I want that settled down, secure feeling =)
Which reminds me, my brother is still out. I am thinking about giving him a call just to 'check-up on him'. Maybe nag him a bit about not staying out too late. My mom would be so proud LOL =))
Peace out.
posted by SunShine @ 9:11 p.m.
6 Comments:
LoL. I'm loving it! Absolutely loving it! :-)
Do they have a metaphors 101 class that you can take at waterloo? :P That was by far the most interesting metaphor I've ever heard in my life :-)
totally agree w/ u.. growing up & FINALLY knowing who u r is an amazing feeling.. up until last yr we were just dreamy kids.. now we're out there.. the real world! Living our dreams.. (or trying to! lol)
I'm sure she is...
nice post..i like it!
Dude you're amazing..
I can relate to almost everything you said.. btw, i'm A HUGE NICKELBACK FAN AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS.. :)
Keep updating.. Funny enough I may be coming to Toronto soon to see my Aunt :)
Oh my God your description of what growing up is really about is so tempting that I would never know when I would reach that point.
I experience confusion and frustration and use it as excuses sometimes; I mean I wonder if I can ever let go. I am working on it though! I guess some cultures help you to grow up while others kind of inhibit that tendency.
I like the way you describe things. You are articulate mashallah.
so true! I also remember something you told me last year.. that for some reason u noticed that the garbage can is really full, always overflowing and stuff.. and few days later, it dawned on you that.. well.. it's overflowing coz YOU DIDN'T TAKE OUT THE TRASH.. and if u don't, no one will.. funny how little things are what make a person feel independent.. :)
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